A SHORT BIBLICAL HISTORY from school pupils:

God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Isaac, stole his brother's birthmark. One of Jacob's sons gave refuse to the Israelites.

"Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments.

"David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines.

From "Richard Lederer's (condensed) 'history' of the world. Lederer used to teach English at St. Paul's School in Concord, N.H., and derived the history from certifiably genuine student bloopers" via Edward M. Gilbreth at charleston.net.